dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There r osticjed everywhere
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
