THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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