Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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