why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
