When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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