Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
