playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
