Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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