maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
either way he was missing a nipple.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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