Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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