franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
