One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
