That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
