you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
