ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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