i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
