Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
