Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Randomize
