yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
