I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
