it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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