I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
