just come out here and I will go home with you...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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