Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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