Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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