i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
