I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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