We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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