you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
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I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
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Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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