I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He passed out mid-signature
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
