his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My vagina just clenched in fear
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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