"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
