fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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