That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
