If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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