i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Your shirt... Was in my pants
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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