uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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