craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
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He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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