Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You smell like stripper and shame
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
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