I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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