This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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