Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
