We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
