I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
