I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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