so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
