We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
