a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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