yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
