i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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