You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
