i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
