Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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