Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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