So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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