Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize